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C B Reply

It’s okay to not be beautiful. We put beauty so high on a pedestal that if someone says your not beautiful it’s like a whole horrible insult when there are far more important attributes than beauty. You can be smart, intelligent, funny, driven and an all around good person. Beauty isn’t everything and not everyone is beautiful. Doesn’t mean they aren’t a beautiful person

    Miguel Angel Medina Rise Reply

    I think there’s a quote. If you’re not beautiful, you’d better be useful.

    Dagger 323 Reply

    Miguel Angel Medina Rise everyone should be useful whether they’re beautiful or not. Being physically attractive only without any other good attributes is about as useless as you can get.

    Raaid Cotman-El Reply

    beauty is important. beauty is link to desirability. most people don’t want to be alone. it makes sense that people would want to be beautiful and desirable to find a partner.

    C B Reply

    Raaid Cotman-El yeah of course people want to be desirable. But beauty doesn’t decide your worth. There is someone out there for everyone and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t think anyone wants to be ugly, beauty has many advantages but it shouldn’t be so focused on. There are far more important attributes in a person other than their looks

    Raaid Cotman-El Reply

    @C B I understand that, beauty and worth are two different things. she uses “you arent fat you are beautiful” as an example. but I think the issue is people that have that false dichotomy. you can be fat and beautiful and you have value as a human being. you can be ugly to most people and fat and you still have value as a human being. I have never thought you had to choose.

Bing Crosby Reply

I love her perspective honestly. It makes me so happy when people love and celebrate themselves and their bodies just as they are ❤️

    Scott McErlean Reply

    Yeah cos celebrating being fat is soooooo healthy for you….

    Cynthia Reyes Reply

    Scott McErlean if that’s what makes them happy then why not let them? Bullying people to be healthy is just as toxic as trying to force people to think being fat is healthy. Just be however you want and who cares about what others are doing?

foxhound 34 Reply

Most women have average looks, most men have average looks, it’s called a bell curve the universe literally runs off of it.

    Myriam Pro Reply

    That is the meaning of the word average. But it is a bit harsh call someone “average”. LOL.

    Darth Kai Reply

    What I don’t get is this girl isn’t one the “hot” scale by any means. She is “average,” meaning not ugly, pretty enough overall, kinda manly if you ask me. Like a dude dressed as a chick, attractive enough chick though. But, I wouldn’t sneak a look during my workout if she walked by. in I could start ticking of reasons why, but we would be here all day. But I personally have smashed much better than her! Lolz

    As the saying goes, “Beauty is on the eye of the beholder.”. And as any fitness person will say, “life before aesthetics.” Life is a long game, as like my as you are healthy you are winning it. Who cares if your nos is too big, or you have crooked teeth, or going bald, whatever. Just be healthy and enjoy life while you can.

Maxim Cypher Reply

People are really confused, thinking average is unappealing or even ugly, Average is a median of attractiveness, the average is attractive.

    th1smomentisfate Reply

    She’s not even average tho. That’s why everyone is so confused by her statements.

    Gaia Seraphina Reply

    Yes.That’s my natural reaction for people telling such BS about other peoples’ relationships!
    Your personal experience ( or what you think it is ) is just nonsense. It doesn’t matter that it’s your opinion … it’s BS.
    Yes …. I know … people nowadays love to excuse every nonsense the say with the killer argument ” it’s my opinion and you have to respect it!”. Nope! I won’t respect BS opinions. Sorry, that I am not sorry!
    Rude or not … I say always the harsh truth! Even then, if it’s insulting. Whether it’s a stranger or an acquaintance ( the later have learnt to cherish it, cuz they know I’d never feign anything and I’m 100% honest ). Yes! I have *indeed* friends ( so don’t assume I doesn’t cuz I have a harsh personality )
    PPS: I don’t regret being “rude” ( to you ), not even for a second.
    Bye! 👋👋👋

    necrona Reply

    @Gaia Seraphina Actually, it’s not a harsh truth, just a rude opinion. But whatever makes you happy…

    Gaia Seraphina Reply

    Yes. It does. I feel better being harsh and rude, than being a sneaky shammer … gossiping behind peoples’ backs ( like most people do ) and pretend to be *nice* ( while thinking the opposite ). This includes slandering people like you do ( cuz that’s simple slander what you wrote about other peoples’ relationships ).
    Some would say, that slandering is … *rude* ! 🤭 I hope being a slanderer makes *you* happy!
    Now that we have settled my personality traits … a nice distraction from the actual topic by the way … that your perception of other peoples’ relationships sucks, honey! 👎💋
    And that’s the last thing I’ll write to you. Rejoice!

    necrona Reply

    @Gaia Seraphina Lol, ok… thanks for the good laugh. Your comprehension abilities are beyond amazing 😀

CJ Willis Reply

Was the pajama person mad because she was called ugly, or was she (rightfully) mad at the comedian for using beauty standards to insult her, thus proving why beauty standards are bull? Because we didn’t see pajama’s response here. Dont assume she’s mad because she was called ugly. And the overall point still stands: that comedian wasn’t being funny, she was just being insulting, and she was using the valuation society gives to beauty in order to do it. And that’s a PRETTY good reason to be mad. Don’t say someone shouldn’t feel one way or another.

    Lucia Feltovich Reply

    thank you!! yes, this is what was bothering me during this video as he was talking about it. she wasn’t upset about being called ugly, she was upset that her appearance/attractiveness was being used to invalidate her arguments.

maryam anidu Reply

Another thing is “Beauty” moves through time, race, age, culture. So you might be a beauty standard now but tomorrow it might change. You might think oh “I’m ugly because I’m fat” because that’s how your culture classifies fat but in some country you’re “fat” is beautiful.

    Gaia Seraphina Reply

    Yes. I always think about this african tribes with the tribal lip plate body modification, which is a beauty standard there … but any other person on this planet thinks that’s gross.

    th1smomentisfate Reply

    I dunno. I still think Marilyn Monroe is gorgeous. I see people in old videos and they’re still attractive. I don’t think it changes that much.

LiveLoveLife and TRAVEL Reply

i don’t think average is bad and i’m not comparing but in my opinion she’s beautiful…but she’s allowed to label herself basic or average…

    Jo Reply

    That’s because she has great makeup skills and hair color that makes her features stand out.
    In the tiktok video she shows at the beginning she does look pretty average.
    She just knows more than others how to enhance her already good (because average doesn’t mean ugly) natural features.

Magdalena Walton Reply

You’re not average. You’re pretty handsome guy.

MrJking2jam Reply

I don’t think her point is that beauty doesn’t matter. I think the point is that self worth and beauty are independent of each other. Meaning, beauty (and the worth society puts on it) has nothing to do with how someone views him/herself. With that being said, I think that because — in this perspective — beauty and self worth/acceptance/feeing valid is separate from beauty (independent of each other) Alison? can/should react emotionally. But remember, her reaction doesn’t take away from the fact that she still feels 100% valid.

    JagularsAndTiggers Reply

    “Mutually exclusive” means you cannot have both at the same time. I think what you mean to say is that beauty and self worth are “independent of each other.”

    MrJking2jam Reply

    JagularsAndTiggers you are absolutely right! Thanks for calling that out 💯

Patty Reply

But the comedienne wasn’t saying Alice wasn’t beautiful. The comedienne was saying if she “fixed” herself she would look better. And that’s completely invalidating Alice feelings and just saying she is jealous.

    minnie babi Reply

    Thank you! He missed the point

    Raaid Cotman-El Reply

    thats true, but why would she care? this Alice person presents herself in a way that she knows will create opinions. so why get upset when people have them?

    Patty Reply

    Raaid Cotman-El Because people have emotions? What separates us from other animals is the capability of rationality not that it’s easy for us to be rational.

    And yes people are allowed to have opinion but what is this obsession with having to share them? Like really? It’s so narcissist. And yea she is on the Internet but so what? Unless a person is being racist, sexist, etc. maybe just scroll past?

    People are such a warped view of free speech. The freedom to do something does not mean you should act on it. I am so tired of people on the internet hiding behind free speech when in reality this is about people wanting to be a jerk.

    They want to cruel and try to cover it by saying they are telling joke or it’s an opinion or that free speech is a human right. No these people are just bad people who don’t have the courage to just to openly be a crap person.

    some rando Reply

    Raaid Cotman-El someone else said it in another comment thread: she’s probably mad that someone put her opinion solely down to how she looks, rather than thoughts that she came up with herself, on her own, independent of beauty standards. I’m kinda in the same mind—if I say “I think beauty standards are bullshit” (which I do) and someone else says “you only say that because you’re unattractive” (which I am), I’m not gonna be mad at the “you’re unattractive,” part of that rebuttal, I’m gonna be mad at “you only say that because…” like, NO, I say that because I am a person who likes to come up with their own philosophies of LIFE in general, not just MY life.

    Raaid Cotman-El Reply

    @some rando that makes perfect sense. perhaps you are right. I just think when you make a declaration on a public platform people are going to have public opinions about you. it comes with the territory. it sucks to be desparaged but it should be expected.

JessieBanana Reply

I think you’re missing the point. I don’t know the girl with the green hair, but I would be angry not at being called fat and ugly, but that you reduced my opinion to nothing. Disregarding my opinion that I developed as an intelligent person who can think for myself, to being ugly or beautiful is rage inducing, and to have it come from another woman is even worse.

    Jap Jab Reply

    Agree. ObesetoBeast turn your brain on, please.

    Anna BerrieBlu Reply

    AND our society likes to dismiss people who don’t fit society’s mold…she didn’t just say she was ugly, she implied that her appearance was some sort of proof that she wasn’t intelligent or her opinion didn’t matter.

    th1smomentisfate Reply

    Some opinions are rage inducing and shouldn’t even be respected. Reminds me of a sex therapist that has the opinion that making kids diet is akin to raping a child.

    JessieBanana Reply

    @th1smomentisfate Yeah, I can’t even with the Fat Sex Therapist person. She’s just awful and so insulting to people on multiple levels.

    JessieBanana Reply

    @Jap Jab That feels unnecessarily mean. IMO he was just so stuck one aspect that he missed it. In fact he briefly mentions she may have been upset about something else entirely, but he doesn’t give much weight or time to it.

Samantha Shetterly Reply

She has really good points. I too call myself average looking and I do not mean it as self-deprecation or that I am ugly. Just keeping it real. I am still worthy regardless of my appearance. Buuuut, as several other comments have pointed out, I would STILL say that she *is* above average looking, just based on what we know people generally rate as attractive — her face is pretty symmetrical, she has big lips, big eyes, defined cheekbones, clear skin, straight white teeth, etc. Maybe not at the extreme end of “beauty,” but she is definitely futher right on the bell curve.

    Agnes V. Reply

    Great comment, I couldn’t agree more!

    Rachel Forshee Reply

    Agree with you, but this girl is super pretty

    Jo Reply

    I don’t think I’m beautiful, nobody better hit on me saying that because that’s a bold lie and really means to me that you think I’m stupid.
    I’m just cute
    Cute is fine, I don’t need to be smoking hot, I like my face the way it is and I know damn well it’s not a particularly mind-blowing one.
    What’s wrong with being just ok looking? I’ll age way better 😂

    MandalaBunny Reply

    I agree, I would say objectively she is prettier than average but I definitely understand her point.

    WinterCamryn Reply

    Great job breaking down the “beautiful” criteria — helps us to understand the “beauty” concept better

JessieBanana Reply

Also, I think another thing people might be missing, is that you as an individual may think she’s beautiful, but darker skin Black women have been told we’re ugly forever. We more than anyone else know how subjective and fickle beauty is. I was teased as a child and teen. I was the ugly friend. Now every Sarah, Claire, and Kim are getting lip fillers, lifts to achieve “fox eyes”, spray tans that border on Black face, and implants to essentially achieve a more “ethnic” look. I have learned to think I am beautiful, but I also refuse to give beauty that much power over me. There is nothing wrong with being average or ugly looking and I’ve been all of them.

    Mallorie Louann Reply

    This honestly breaks my heart. Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but my whole life I’ve always been told that everyone regardless of who they are, is beautiful. People are born different and that is so beautiful. Skin tones and textures of hair. Shapes of eyes, and different sizes. It’s so amazing that people can be so different in appearance yet so beautiful. I cannot even fathom why or how people believe certain groups of people can be “more beautiful.” I’m sorry you had to grow up being told these lies, but I promise you, you are a human being with unique characteristics that makes you awesome. And I do struggle with the thought of “not liking” myself, but I’m trying. 🙂

    Gaia Seraphina Reply

    @Mallorie Louann
    I think you guys simply use the wrong term. Beauty is usually used concerning looks. The perception of beauty is subjective. I don’t think all people are beautiful and I don’t *have* to ( cuz everyone is allowed to have preferences ).
    You guys use the word “beautiful”, but you mean in fact “valuable”and ” of worth”.

    Mallorie Louann Reply

    @Gaia Seraphina Of course people have preferences. And there is a distinct difference between worth and appearance. What I’m saying is that people are in fact beautiful no matter what. There is a pea for every pod. I know what is unaestheticly pleasing about me. I have dark circles and hip dips as a result of a toxic mindset to the extent of losing 30 pounds (eating disorder) along with body dysmorphia. So trust me, I know what you’re saying far too well. But, people need to appreciate what IS beautiful about themselves. Humans are vain creatures, but you just have to learn to cope with it. People should appreciate how they look because no matter what it is our home, and you just have to appreciate that. So, I guess this mindset is just a result of my recovery journey – but yes. I choose to believe everyone is “beautiful” AND “valuable” though entirely unrelated.

    S Holmes Reply

    Wanting bigger lips or fox eyes is not wanting to look more black. White people dont get nose jobs to make their noses wider like black people, or want their skin to be ashy. Black women get blonde weaves and bleach their skin also. Stop saying anyone wants to be another race… not all white women have no lips and not all black women have juicy lips. Cultural appropriation is a load of crap.

    Gaia Seraphina Reply

    @Mallorie Louann
    Well, I’m average and I’m ok with it … most of the time.
    I think, people attach too much importance to beauty. I don’t get it. Why is it, that everyone *have* to be seen as beautiful nowadays? Aren’t there more important things like virtuous character traits? But no … it’s “beautiful” here and “beautiful” there. Why this specific attribute? Why is *this* specific attribute so important? Much important than f.e. “smart” or even “kind”, etc ?
    But no, everyone wants to be beautiful instead ( or be considered as beautiful at least ). It seems this is the best thing somebody can be … and this mindset is somehow terrifying imo.

    My palaver in a nutshell:
    Beauty is overrated! 😑

Kerri Belleville Reply

EVERYONE is a lil ugly sometimes & that’s ok. Beauty is considered the best thing you can be which is so stupid because your appearance is a random biological occurrence. Being kind, empathetic, forgiving, accepting, etc., are CHOICES. Those are the things that make you beautiful.

    Christina Munro Reply

    This is so true. I’ve met people that after I got to know them my opinions on their looks changed. That goes both ways. Someone I thought was unattractive when I first met them after I got to know t he m I never could understand how I ever thought them unattractive. Same with people you think are beautiful but have horrible personalities. It doesn’t take long before you can no longer see their outer beauty. All you see is the ugliness.

    Lindsay J Reply

    Personality is key.

Titanyna Hudson Reply

If she’s ‘average’ then I’m below average 😂. But I understand and agree with her viewpoints though.

eclecticdeco Reply

Also average just means common. It doesn’t mean you’re ugly.

Janessa Droese Reply

I dont think radical self acceptance means you dont care about being the beautiful mecissarily, but that you focus more on what makes you happy or feel “beautiful” individually. And Alice being upset over being called ugly, when she probably really enjoys and puts effort into making herself feel her version of beautiful makes complete sense.

Raaid Cotman-El Reply

“everyone is beautiful” is only a problem when it’s coming externally. everyone should be “beautiful to themselves” the second girl with green hair physically expresses herself in a way that she finds beautiful. if she didn’t care abour beauty at all then she wouldnt have taken the energy to create the look she has.

    Jordan's Unix-based Machine Reply

    Sure but she never said she “doesn’t care about beauty at all”.

    DIOP Sokhna Rokhaya Reply

    Plus, self expression through hair cut and color, tattoo, piercing… Doesn’t always mean trying to enhance one’s beauty

    Raaid Cotman-El Reply

    @Jordan’s Unix-based Machine she literally says “she accepts herself radically, it doesn’t matter.” If she excepts herself radically, why does she put so much energy into how she looks? her appearance (although not for me) is carefully crafted. why take the time to dye her hair and shave it and what not. she does care and it does matter to her. and that’s fine. the problem is when you make declarations on a public forums, people will have public opinions about you. she really should have been prepared for people to criticize her.

    Raaid Cotman-El Reply

    @DIOP Sokhna Rokhaya of course it does. it is trying to enhance one’s beauty to the person’s internal standard of beauty. she dyes hers hair not for anyone else, but because she likes the way it looks. she finds it beautiful.

    Jordan's Unix-based Machine Reply

    @Raaid Cotman-El As I said in a separate reply on a different one of your posts, accepting yourself radically is not the same thing as accepting yourself absolutely. Nothing about her ideology implies that shes opposed to modifying her appearance or having an opinion on your own appearance. She very clearly states that how you look shouldn’t imply how valid you are – not “I don’t care about being beautiful and I don’t care how I look at all!”

    Its also particularly agregious that you accuse her of not being able to handle criticism because she was mad at someone criticizing everything BUT her actual arguments. You would be rightfully annoyed if I just ignored your points and started making fun of your profile photo. And it likely wouldn’t be because “Oh no a stranger with a donkey kong profile pic doesnt like how I look!” you would be mad because its dishonest and weak to make ad hominem attacks.

Samantha Reply

“My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world and that’s why god made so many of them” -Micheal G Scott

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