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Krista Reply

Fat activists dont realize how dumb they look when they make the “my blood pressure is fine” argument.

There are a lot of ways to determining health, blood health is just one of them. Like a cancer patient can have the correct white blood cell count, an HIV sufferer can have a good VO2 max, that doesn’t mean suddenly Cancer and HIV aren’t diseases to take seriously.

Between the chronic stress on your core, bones, joints, ligaments, the near guarantee of an eating disorder, and the inactivity I disagree that it’s even possible to be obese and healthy, and being overweight is a warning sign of obesity.

    Katharine Eavan Reply

    They freak out at people using BMI as one part of an overall estimate of health, yet having normal blood pressure is somehow the be all and end all of health exams

RachelReduces Reply

Let people do what is best for their own Health and Bodies! Point. Blank. Period. Yes, would love to see more of these Reddit reactions. 🙌

Judaline Reply

This subreddit really saved me by helping me confront my excuses and work hard to keep my body as healthy as I could. After suffering nerve damage, I fell into the toxic body positivity echo chamber, and every time my doctor suggested I lose weight, I argued with him. I finally lost 45lbs and can move more easily.

    Jahcé Simone Reply

    I’m so glad you took those steps in bettering your health! I was the same way even at 20 pounds heavier, my mobility and stamina were so low, I didn’t realize certain things that were impacted until I really dove into my health journey (which Im still on)-

    kazzuo The Great Reply

    Im glad you realize it was affecting your health. Sometimes we fight the doctor when he says “you need to lose weight” but sometimes by losing just 10 pounds you feel the difference.

Alassol Queiroz Reply

I follow this sub, I can’t stand fat logic anymore. It doesn’t make any sense.

    Kiki D Reply

    It’s a good cringe read. Heas/fat activists are insane.

Hessyox Reply

Fun fact that I don’t think some of these HAES anti-dieting people have realised:

When I and many other restrictive eating disorder sufferers I know we’re deep in our eating disorders…we often weren’t tracking calories. We would simply not eat, because everything was terrifying.

Anti diet people love to conflate EDs with calorie counting and tbh it’s a massive simplification and generalisation, and it tells me that they don’t actually care about us ED folks either, beyond our use as a “oh no this is bad” scapegoat

    maria mendizabal Reply

    This is true for me as well, I was so restrictive that at one point I excluded basically all food and only ate nori sheets and veggie soups because I considered them as safe and everything else was scary.

    Rosalyn Hoppenthaler Reply

    My ED was definitely triggered by calorie counting! I had binge eating disorder and since I stopped focusing on food I feel a lot better. A lot of people get into the ED mindset through focusing excessively on calories/food.

    Katherine Alice Donnelly Reply

    Yeah, it’s such a lost opportunity for people to try to better understand each other. I didn’t start learning anything about nutrition and calories until I started trying to recover. Doing anything outside of my compulsions and rituals triggered the intense fear, dread, and shame that I had been numbing, but clinging onto rational information helped me get through the waves. Any time I relapsed, it was more so because I wanted to feel nothing, not just lose weight.

    bruh Reply

    Rosalyn Hoppenthaler yeah I can relate but I have anorexia nervosa. I wouldn’t let myself have past a certain amount of calories like 200-800..I have found it rlly helpful to not count my calories because my brain was constantly obsessed with doing that. I hope I can eventually get to a place where I see the calories and don’t feel anxious

Rania Alhumaidi Reply

they’re in so much denial saying that they’re fine when in reality…they won’t be fine for long. im still traumatized by that one episode in my 600 Ib life where doctors found maggots in the ladies folds of fat/skin. 🥺

    Spleens Reply

    Oh god I’m glad I haven’t seen that episode 😬

    KickingGeese Reply

    Which episode was that??

    Nina Johnson Reply

    @KickingGeese I think it was Lisa’s episode.

    Rania Alhumaidi Reply

    @KickingGeese yeah it was lisa’s episode.

Gwen Wall Reply

As a person who has struggled with disordered eating tracking macros has helped me more than anything else(I have a nutrition coach as well). I had no idea how uneducated about nutrition I was until I started tracking, it taught me the importance of not continuing my disordered habits for the sack of my mental and physical health, I knew if I continued the habits I had I would be halting my progress in the gym and that was a huge wake up call for me, I had to have healthy eating habits to progress in what I love. Also, these people act like tracking is a lifestyle, but for a lot of people it isn’t, it is a way to learn about food and nutrition until you are so advanced and educated in what and how you are consuming food don’t need to do it anymore.

    Bella Wolff Reply

    I don’t track calories on a regular basis anymore, but it helped me both ways. When I was losing weight, if I retained 3 pounds of water, I didn’t get panicked because I knew I couldn’t have gained 3 pounds of fat in a day or week.

    ChocolatexCherries3 Reply

    DUDE YES. LIKE, TRACKING CALORIES IS TYPICALLY A TEMPORARY SOLUTION PEO0LE USE TO ACTUALLY GET EDUCATED ON HOW MUCH AND WHAT THEY’RE EATING. Like, when I first started, I got to see what eating 300 calories of salad vs. 300 cals of cheesecake felt like. That knowledge helped me to pick better food options because I knew that I would feel satisfied with one food over the other.

My Vegetable Life Reply

I had scores of good lab results until I didn’t – now I’m racing against diseases.

Mike Vasquez Reply

As much as fat activists like to say that dieting in any form is indicative of an eating disorder, they ignore or even deny the fact that habitual overeating is also an eating disorder.

    Naomi LG Reply

    This 👆👆👆

    Naomi LG Reply

    OR they will invariably say that they *don’t* eat more than the average person and are gaining all that fat strictly because of their genes/metabolism, which in itself is blatant and complete denial.

    Ely C Reply

    @Naomi LG they probably do eat average since average people are now fat

    Christina Munro Reply

    Naomi LG that is so true! I was having a meal with a very large lady. We were eating lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I ate my meal and got the leftovers to take home, as did she. She ate about the same amount as me of her meal but she ate 3 baskets of the chips placed on the table. She said repeatedly how she doesn’t actually eat a lot. Then, once we left the restaurant she stopped and got a dozen hot donuts with chocolate and nuts. Then she sat there and ate 5 of them and then begged me to take the box away and put it in her backseat where she couldn’t reach it. I was still full from lunch and watching her eat the donuts made me ill. But it didn’t dawn on her that that was not what “normal” people do and that WAS actually eating a lot!

    bootstrappers Reply

    @Christina Munro totally. And it’s tricky because I have seen how sometimes people are taught as kids what is a normal amount to eat, and that amount might be a lot, but they grow up thinking that’s normal

FirstFallSnow Reply

I gotta say, I loathe how easily HAES throws around accusations of having an eating disorder, but what makes me absolutely sick is the vitriolic way they do it. That alone tells me that they know intermittent fasting or diets aren’t really EDs, because who would use an ED as a weapon like that?

    Katharine Eavan Reply

    A friend recently posted a thing saying using coffee as an appetite suppressent is disordered eating… like, sure Jan. Me drinking coffee to suppress the false hunger cues my body constantly throws up out of boredom, depression, or just plain confusion is disordered and needs for you to comment on it but if I were to go along with every craving and live of Kinder Buenos and Brie that’d be fine and anyone who mentioned it would be fatphobic and should mind their own business…

Kwarkool Reply

Health is kind of irrelevant in this discussion. Weight is a load. Load on the body is stress. The more weight you have the more stress you put on the body.

Stress over time create fractures, which will eventually end in premature failure in components. If the stress continues, then sub-system will fail. This same principle applies to biological and mechanical bodies.

Time under stress will be less in a younger body than an older body. An older body will wear and have premature failure due to the stress. It’s that simple.

    Naomi LG Reply

    Very well put. Alas, most of these people will always choose to ignore or discard logic in favor of what they want to hear and what the easiest route is, even at the detriment of their own health.

Synthetic Teapot Reply

For a group that preaches ‘quit policing women’s bodies’, they sure do like to police women’s bodies

Mariana Cervantes Reply

Unless people have received their Medical Degrees, Psych Degrees & or a therapy license they shouldn’t be diagnosing peoples “Eating Disorders” .

    Michelle Mae Simplicio Reply


    Chris Santiago Reply

    Totally agree. This something I’ve noticed alot as well. It’s always the people that have no education or experience in something try to pass themselves off as an expert.

    Alexa N Reply

    As someone with a psych undergrad lemme tell you IM not even allowed to diagnose anyone with anything they def need at least a master’s and liscence lol

    Mariana Cervantes Reply

    Alexa N Hey! I’m a psych undergrad myself. You’re totally right! I should’ve clarified, I meant Masters.

Rachel Carpenter Reply

Me: “them HAES snowflakes!”
Also me: gets offended by John saying “nuculer” instead of “nuclear”.

Thespina xx Reply

I think the whole complimenting weight loss is something that everyone has their own preference/opinion about. I totally understand and am all for cheering people on for their weightloss. What I’m not about is that passive aggressive congratulations, the congratulations from someone who only ever criticises you and uses the congratulations as a way to make you feel like you were nothing before weight loss.

Most of my close friends and family are very supportive of me in my journey (and congratulations are always welcome) but I have a lot that don’t even know I’m on a journey. This is simply because they’re toxic. Some manipulate, some try and get in my head and some just literally laugh at me for trying. Those people are the ones that will give disingenuous compliments and I’m really not looking forward to hearing them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… if you are genuinely happy for someone in your heart and they’re happy in their journey then congratulate them. However, if someone close to you loses a tonne of weight, doesn’t talk to you about it and is trying to avoid the convo and youre kinda annoyed by them or their progress, maybe dont say anything 🤷‍♀️

    Naomi LG Reply

    Yeah, I remember this one girl from one of my classes who I hadn’t seen in two full semesters before we walked passed each other at school one day.

    I had spent the whole winter and spring training like mad, changing my habits and eating more healthily, which proved quite beneficial in a lot of ways. It not only had me feeling a lot better, but I lost a solid 40 pounds over the course of only a few months. The girl looked at me, tilted her head with the blankest expression you could imagine, and simply stated: “You lost weight.” I said yes, added that I didn’t know it showed, and she confirmed to me (still with no emotion whatsoever) that it was indeed apparent. To this day, I still have no idea whether she meant it as a congratulation or some sort of reproach. It was the weirdest thing, and I would definitely have preferred for her not to mention it at all because her intentions behind her remark were so vague and unclear.

    Like you said, encouragements are always great, as long as they’re genuine and clearly meant in a positive way. Otherwise, it’s just awkward.

    Thespina xx Reply

    @Naomi LG yeah that is definitely awkward. Its also soooo rude. But I guess as many good things that come with weight loss, theres a few bad. And this is just one of those things that we have to deal with

    Naomi LG Reply

    True. I remember that the girl’s response did bother me a bit when I first thought back on it, but then I just shrugged it off and focused on the positive (namely the awesome feeling of accomplishment that I felt), which was much more important to me anyway.

    As the saying goes, we are our own best friend, and the fact that I felt a lot better in my own skin was something that I was (and still am) both happy and very grateful for. Self love can take many forms, but more often than not it’s not what people would assume it is. Loving ourself doesn’t equal self-indulging at every turn and always taking the easy route; it means putting in the effort in order to properly take care of ourselves, even if it’s demanding or difficult.

    I now take the time to train every single day as I have made it one of my priorities, and I have never felt better in my entire life. What some of these people should realize is that health is not just about weight loss. It’s about being responsable and acknowledging what’s best for our own body, and then committing to the change. 💕

    Katharine Eavan Reply

    Weirdly I got the opposite off my aunt. I got obese and she complimented me for it, telling me I now look like a “real woman”. Even weirder, I happen to know that’s she’s pretty much tried every fad diet out there and she, my other aunt and my grandma probably single handedly keep the local weightwatchers branch in business. So like, it was phrased (and possibly meant) as a compliment, but what I got from it was “you were too skinny and didn’t look like a woman before” along with a conflicting message of “hah! now you’re fat like me”

    Naomi LG Reply

    That sucks! And yeah, it’s really not a good way to encourage you, if so was even her intention. -_- In overall, I agree with the general opinion that one shouldn’t openly make remarks on someone else’s weight unless the person prompts the subject themselves or obviously looks very happy in their own skin. It’s a very personal thing and if someone wishes not to talk about it, other people should just mind their own business.

Valerie Lynn Reply

11:13 pisses me off, tbh. The kpop fandom has a lot of faults, but when idols start looking incredibly thin (both men and woman) fans actively worry about their health and hope they aren’t being forced to work too hard or eat too strictly. People are happy when they see one of their favorite performers have fuller cheeks because it means they’re a bit healthier.

    Madelin Reply

    One person once told me they thought I was too thin at bmi 22+, which wasn’t true at all, so it doesn’t neccessarily mean they were talking about some specific kpop artist but that they think kpop artists are too thin generally. That they think what others think is normal weight is too thin, especially kpop artists.

Cori Ambler Reply

Labeling everything as an ED is taking away from just how severe EDs are. They are deadly. I have a weak heart because of my ED and it will never recover. My heart is permanently damaged and I’m only 21. My body has been so starved for so long that it will never regain it’s strength and health. To me my ED was a way to slowly kill myself and ultimately I think it will be what kills me. Not because I’m deadly thin but because I did lastly damage that will get worse over time.

    Lisa Latdook Reply

    Yeah, this is so true. I’ve been recovered from my ED for two years but I still have hormonal issues (my period is still very irregular even though it was perfectly regular pre ED). I still have a lot of digestive issues despite the fact that I do eat a lot of food now. It’s really tough.

Librinaut Reply

Idk I think “don’t compliment someone for their weightloss” isn’t a bad statement and I agree with it. Maybe it should rather be “don’t compliment someone for their weight loss if they never voiced they want to lose weight”. Of course you can and should compliment someone who is overweight or obese and visibly dieting or talking about it! I had a friend who was obese and was so happy when he finally lost weight and we showered him in compliments. But when my aunt lost weight she was very quiet about it and it turned out she had cancer (which ultimately killed her). In my experience people will show or tell you when they want to lose weight or when they are happy about their weightloss. Something small as “i can finally wear my old jeans again” already tells a lot. If someone suddenly loses a lot of weight and doesnt talk about it in any way I will never comment on their weight loss.

I was never fat but always thin and when my anorexia was at its worst I got the most complinents about my body. I was underweight. I was malnourished, had brittle hair and nails, huge under eye bags and couldn’t even go up the stairs without taking two breaks. But everything people saw was that I went down a few clothing sizes. Good for me right?
That’s why I might be biased.

If you are overweight or obese and somehow show me that you are happy with your weight loss I will be your cheerleader! That friend of mine was just glowing with happiness that it was absolutely obvious that his weightloss was a good thing.

But I’m now in recocery and gained a bit of weight (still thin, finally got some muscles back too). The compliments have stopped. Only one friend told me that he was happy that I didn’t look like a zombie anymore. I wish complimenting people would be about how happy and healthy they are getting and supporting them and not just about how skinny they got, not caring about the reason.

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